why can’t a t-rex clap? because it’s dead
How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his Family.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks “why the long face?”
The horse replies “my wife has terminal cancer”
what’s worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a truck.
a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”